Drug testing

 
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DEDLY DAEGO



Joined: 23 Sep 2003
Posts: 3613
Location: South Side

PostPosted: Tue Sep 08, 2009 9:19 pm    Post subject: Drug testing Reply with quote

Any good homemade methods to pass a piss screening? I'm using it for a story, so it has to be homemade, not store bought solutions.
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trailerdiva



Joined: 21 Sep 2003
Posts: 7675
Location: Alternate Reality

PostPosted: Tue Sep 08, 2009 11:27 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I know people do the pickle juice thing, but now the word on the street is they test to see if you did the pickle juice thing.
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Mild Thing



Joined: 18 Sep 2007
Posts: 2706

PostPosted: Wed Sep 09, 2009 1:03 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

That depends if you're looking for "simple, yet effective", "humorous", or "traditional".

I once used coke and weed a week before a drug test for a new job; I just drank a bunch or water to internally dilute my specimen, and passed. But then, I didn't make a habit of either, which probably had far more to do with my passing.

There's also the aforementioned "pickle juice thing" and vinegar methods. I have no idea if they actually work, or to what extent, but those have been on the urban folklore landscape for decades now.

I also recall an herbal concoction- "golden seal" that's been around for quite a while now:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Golden_seal

other reading material:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Drug_tests

also, Google "masking agents"- chemicals used to cover up drug usage. Many companies that screen for illegal drugs also screen for masking agents, though they may be legal themselves.
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Phobia



Joined: 22 Sep 2003
Posts: 6245
Location: I am. I was.

PostPosted: Wed Sep 09, 2009 1:28 am    Post subject: Re: Drug testing Reply with quote

DEDLY DAEGO wrote:
Any good homemade methods to pass a piss screening? I'm using it for a story, so it has to be homemade, not store bought solutions.


My buddy had a drug test for his job in the media department for a local sports team. He was a big pothead. He didn't change any of his habits, just drank a shitload of the "tea" they market before the test. Took the test, worked his day, and celebrated with a big fattie after work. Came in the next day, was told his urine had too diluted and had to re-submit a sample, which he promptly failed. Lost his job saying "Cut to 2" because he didn't feel it necessary to go to Hazeldon for weed (which was their condition for keeping the job.)

That's a good device for a story. Have him test, celebrate with a big joint, and get the call for the re-test right before the big exhale. Shit writes itself.
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Mild Thing



Joined: 18 Sep 2007
Posts: 2706

PostPosted: Wed Sep 09, 2009 1:59 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoID=1450344874
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DEDLY DAEGO



Joined: 23 Sep 2003
Posts: 3613
Location: South Side

PostPosted: Wed Sep 09, 2009 8:46 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I choked down Certo Fruit Pectin once when I was a teen. It tasted like what I imagine a gang bang in my mouth might taste like. An unforgettable experience I wish I could.
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Drza Pza



Joined: 07 Sep 2004
Posts: 493
Location: band practice

PostPosted: Thu Sep 10, 2009 7:46 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

My parents used to randomly make me take UA's when I was in junior high/high school due to poor attitude and constant insubordinance at school. Really the only drugs you have to worry about being in your system are steroids, opiates, and marijuana. Meth, PCP, Triptafan, and coke won't stay in your system for longer than 72 hours. LSD is only extracted through a spinal tap. Alchohol can show up up to 24 hours later depending on how hardcore of a drinker you are, but I don't think that alchohol matters unless you are on some type of probation for an alchohol related offense. You know, the type of probation that I used to always be on....
I don't know how to pass the steroid thing, (ask some of your MMA buddies about this, they would probably know. Maybe even Travis would know.) but I know from experience that you can certainly beat a UA for marijuana simply by taking a large (1 1/2 oz.) shot of straight vinegar. It's fucking gnarly, but it works. Opiates will wash out of your system faster by eating fattier foods and drinking a lot of water or beer. Anything that will make you urinate constantly.
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