I May Be Easy But I Sure Ain't Simple

 
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caSIREN1o1



Joined: 25 Sep 2003
Posts: 91
Location: Never Give In

PostPosted: Sun May 23, 2004 4:57 am    Post subject: I May Be Easy But I Sure Ain't Simple Reply with quote

I'm going to pass up the formalities of submitting this for the webzine. How punk is that?

Here is my article. Feel free to contribute it in the next um, webzine, whenever it comes out or whatever.

I May Be Easy, But I Sure Ain't Simple

I am bored of easy men. This is what bothers me about the opposite sex: they confuse me. I know this is the most common statement ever made, but I think that it's generally spoken from a male’s perspective about the so-called complexity of women. Flip it over through me, as a woman, and you have someone confused by the simplicity of its subject. The common denominator here is the stereotypical tendencies for women to over-analyze. You guessed it; I'm guilty as charged. I shouldn't just pigeon hole the guys when it comes to this sort of thinking. People in general do this, but in my experience I see this behavior displayed the most in men.
Some of my recent encounters with the opposite sex have triggered this reaction from me. To be frank, I'm just not attracted to simplicity when it comes to my men. I'm going to narrow this down a bit and bring up the subject of sexual encounters.
I've gone through so many cycles when it's come to my sexuality. My first sexual experiences came when I was about 17 years old. I was dating the same guy from the ages of 17 to 24 years old, but I didn't have sex with him until I was nearly 21. Now that I'm removed from the situation I'm totally and utterly amazed that he stayed with me for over 3 years before the actual act of sex. After we split up I went through a series of partners for more or less experimentation. Men have thought of me as everything from a prude to a whore and back to prude again in and out of my life. I go through cycles of thought processes from conformation to rebellion when it comes to the issue at hand.
To start with the former, I think the general unsaid rule of a woman's role is to withhold sex. There are many reasons for this ranging from being the one that can't run from a pregnancy, to the social stigma attached if she is too easy. On the more positive end, it's true, male or female, if you withhold, I think that you weed out the good from the bad. The ones that are more interested in you, as a person, are the one's that actually stick around. That is, if what you're looking for is a relationship. Now when it comes to the latter, my rebellious attitude stems from the hatred of being cast into the role of moderator. If a woman decides to have a one-night stand it's so ridiculous for me to hear her called names. The way I see it, it makes both partners equal in their morals for the time being. When I decide to have a one night stand it generally means that I get sick and tired of what's expected to me and it's a big "fuck you" in the face of social expectations, and what a release it is!
As of late, I've veered back to my prudish ways. The other night I with this guy I’ve been spending some time with lately, and we were lying on separate couches talking away. We started talking about sex and I mentioned my pet peeve. I hate it when you're making out with a guy for the first time and they whip out their junk right away. The first thought that always runs through my head is "Wow, you're really that easy, huh?" and the second thought that runs through my head is, “You have an awful lot of nerve to just assume I wanted to take things to that level.” The absolute worst though, is when he pulls it out and just waits to see your reaction. This act, in and of itself, is a major eye roller. I’m never quite sure what they expect. A gasp of awe? All of my barriers breaking down at it’s irresistibility? Um, excuse me, but I think you’ve seen too many pornos.
So later that night, I was making out with this guy for the first time. What do you know, within minutes, he askes, “You wanna see it?” At least he had the decency to ask me first, but at the same time, I'm thinking in my head, "You weren't listening to a word I was saying earlier, were you?” What a turn-off, and inconsistency on his part. Not smooth. At the onset of that question, I was reminded of something my friend John told me once about the power of saying no. For some reason it was hilarious to me to answer, “No, not really.” and look him dead in the eye. Needless to say, this would create some form of atrophy in any man on both a physical and egotistical level, but it was fascinating to witness the desperation that ensued on his part. It was obvious he wanted to break out his toolbar so much, that he pushed the envelope by starting to grab my various body parts with reckless abandon. I didn’t quite understand what he was trying to do. Turn me on so much to the point that I couldn’t say no? At this point I had to break it off at his lack of respect for my personal boundaries and the awkwardness of the situation.
I refuse to believe that the second blood rushes away from a man's brain, he loses his thinking ability. At least I don't want to believe it, but personal experience has definitely proved contrary.
There are so many mental wars involved when it comes to sex, at least with me. I'm looking for a challenging match, and a person that can see my wiles and keep up with me blow for blow, every pun intended. I'm on the warpath. I made a vow that no one is going to get past my stockade unless they can outsmart me, or match me in wit. I’ve been harboring fears that I’ll never get laid now.
I'm going to bring this rant full circle now and reiterate that I'm not interested in simplicity when it comes to my men. The problem is, is that I'm ready to wage a war of resistance, but no one I come in contact with is up for the challenge of creating true sexual tension. I thought it was understood how that makes the victory so much sweeter in the end. How frustrating when guys lay everything out on the table right away, make it known they will do anything and everything they can to cater to you and make it be known that they are available to you for the taking at any given time. Where's the challenge in that? This is the answer to the common question about why girls are always going for the bad boys. Most of us are bored to death of “easy” men. Men who give you anything you want, when you want it. Men who will sleep with you at the drop of a hat. Where is the victory in that? The thrill of the hunt? The pride in the kill?
In the words of Nommy Lamb, “I may be easy, but I sure ain’t simple.”
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zom-zom



Joined: 19 Sep 2003
Posts: 8997
Location: Yggdrasill

PostPosted: Sun May 23, 2004 5:07 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I can't believe I read the whole thing.

That belongs in Cosmopolitan, or something.

Dullsville, man. Teen-dating stories are boring.
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caSIREN1o1



Joined: 25 Sep 2003
Posts: 91
Location: Never Give In

PostPosted: Sun May 23, 2004 5:10 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

That creeps me out how you always respond to my posts within a minute.
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zom-zom



Joined: 19 Sep 2003
Posts: 8997
Location: Yggdrasill

PostPosted: Sun May 23, 2004 5:13 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I usually wait at least 3-4 minutes.
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Orbit



Joined: 13 Dec 2003
Posts: 2067
Location: right over there

PostPosted: Sun May 23, 2004 5:40 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I think this would've been turned down by the webzine anyway.

Maybe when he asked if you wanted to see it, he meant his glass eye.
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7734



Joined: 19 Sep 2003
Posts: 4175

PostPosted: Sun May 23, 2004 6:11 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

caSIREN1o1: "I'm going to pass up the formalities of submitting this for the webzine. How punk is that?"

TCPUNK WEBZINE volume #1 issue #3 "Whip Out Your Junk Issue"

Think you can do better people? Here is your chance. Post your article in the webzine forum from now until the end of June. We'll take your stuff and format it like issue #1 and #2.
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susan the bear



Joined: 24 Sep 2003
Posts: 3440

PostPosted: Sun May 23, 2004 9:24 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

yeah, it may be a bit Cosmo, but I appreciate
what you have to say about needing a challenge
and how lame it is when someone makes it
way to easy.
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Jawknee



Joined: 24 Sep 2003
Posts: 1826
Location: FEAR--X-------LOVE

PostPosted: Tue Jun 15, 2004 4:59 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I once told a girl I had gone on a few dates with that I didn't have sex outside of a relationship. Although it had been pretty true for me up to that point, I was perfectly willing. I said it more for the sake of seeing if she'd try challenging what I said. Well, No dice. She wrote me off and that was the end of that.
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chain-wallet bitch



Joined: 19 Sep 2003
Posts: 2597

PostPosted: Tue Jun 15, 2004 6:39 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Prior to my relationship with PiPPi, the last "serious" relationship (in retrospect, anyway) I had was with a Japanese-American woman whose Japanese family pretty much bought her back into their traditional family order, and away from the cozy life we had built for ourselves in Mpls. During our relationship, I had been doing a lot of soul-searching, and one of the things I had decided for myself was that sex was fairly unnecessary, for the most part. Enjoyable, yes, but still unnecessary, as a vital part of a relationship. Although she appreciated the thought behind it, she swore that if I cut her off she would walk out in a heartbeat. Sadly, this kind of put a damper on that facet of our relationship. when she was finally persuaded to go back to follow the path her family had chosen for her, I emabarked on a lifestyle of celibacy that lasted nearly seven years. Boy, did that decision get the Mpls gossip mills rolling... It's amazing how much interest total strangers can take in one's personal life.
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