Recipes
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Evil Angel



Joined: 18 Sep 2003
Posts: 1430
Location: down by the river

PostPosted: Sun Nov 28, 2004 6:12 am    Post subject: Recipes Reply with quote

I say we should start this up again. I'll get some recipes later on.
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TLH



Joined: 10 Sep 2004
Posts: 5486
Location: Way West of the river.

PostPosted: Sun Nov 28, 2004 6:31 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I found this on my hard drive- I think I posted this recipe on the old TCP but whatever- It's my favorite dish and the absolute best to take to dinners with friends. I've been experimenting with adding fresh fruit- chiefly Lilikoi (passion fruit) which I have on a vine in my backyard. It tastes absolutely unreal, but you have to mess with the consistncy. I deseed a dozen or so lilikoi and end up with about half a ziplock sandwich bag of juice, about like a thin syrup. (The ziplock reference is because I freeze it and save it.) I add it to the filling and add some sugar to keep it thick enough, because the fruit juice has a tendancy to thin the mixture down too much. I'd imagine Zom or someone in the know could tell me a better way to do this but I've never investigated it too much and so more sugar is the answer thus far (I have a mean sweet tooth). I think you could add the lilikoi to the topping lso, but thus far I haven't been that adventurous.


My mom’s bad ass cheesecake:

First off it’s important that all of the ingredients are about room temperature (yeah- I know, depends on the temperature of the room now doesn’t it?) Specifically the eggs and cheesecake are important because it makes it easier to mix and it mixes smoother.

Also- this is a pretty spendy recipe- go to a warehouse (like Costco/Price Club) to get the crème cheese and sour crème- you’ll save a bundle. The packages are usually exactly enough for two killer cheesecakes. Also if you buy the smaller spring-form pan the really cool gooey tasty stuff on the top comes out thicker, which I prefer. You’ll see if you ever do it both ways. The big pan cheesecake is cool and all, but the little pan cheesecake kind of goes over the top. IMHO.

Crust:
24 (billy) graham crackers
¼ pound butter (melted)
1/3 cup sugar
Crush graham crackers

Crush graham crackers. I use a rolling pin and I lay the crackers four or six in a stack across my big cutting board and roll the life from their little cracker bodies with a rolling pin. Then I pour their remains in the particle accelorator (big bad ass blender) and pretty much vaporize them. I prefer it like this, but you can also leave the graham crackers a little coarse and the crust comes out a bit softer, IMHO.

Melt the butter and then mix the butter and the (billy) graham crackers in the blender and then mix the sugar and the butter/graham cracker stuff in a bowl until it’s pretty well all mixed up. Then pour the whole shebang into a spring-form pan and press it flat. The flatter you press it, the harder the crust is- again a matter of taste but I’ve found that if you press it too much then the crust is like surface of the moon and so mebbe a little softer next time eh? I use a Tupperware lid to make it nice and smooth and perfect, fulfilling (or at least taking a huge step towards fulfilling) a prophecy that I will be as anal as my dad someday.

Filling:

3 eight ounce packages of crème cheese
5 eggs
1 1/3 teaspoon Vanilla (ice)
1 cup sugar (ray?)

preheat stove to 350 degrees.

These ingredients should be close to room temperature. Using the (neil) blender or food processor, blend the wet ingredients thouroughly and then add in the sugar and blend again. (I use the old mixmaster-flash for this.) Pour the whole mess into the spring-form pan over the crust.

Stove should be heated up by now- put the pan in the oven (middle rack a little away from the heat source if you can) for 45 minutes at 350. I usually watch it closely the last ten minutes or so, because of residential stoves being complete crap mostly. An overcooked cheesecake is a disappointment. But life’s full of disappointments so I guess it’ll probably all work out in the end. Or not.

Topping:

1 pint sour crème
1 teaspoon Vanilla (ice?)
½ cup sugar

Mix topping ingredients. Again, I use the old mix master because it’s the way to go. Spoon topping over slightly cooled cake. Pop back into the oven and crank it up to 475. Keep a sharp eye on this last bit cause it can overcook really easily at this temp, but this is the temp mom told me and thus far it’s been dead on the money except I'm at sea level and I pull the bugger out early a lot. Ten minutes at 475. I usually pull it before seven, after five. I’m a chickenshit but I’ve had enough disappointment for this year. Dissappointment is my only friend. I’ve always liked that. Made it up just last year. So I guess not always but I’ve liked it since last year.

Let this bad ass motherfucker cool a bit and then get some saran wrap on it to keep it fresh as a spring breeze and put this motherfucker in the oven. Rock and roll, motherfuckers….rock and roll.

Pop it out in a couple hours or three or six and let it thaw a bit before you try and eat it or run the serious risk of damaging your dentures. Bon appetit, you bad ass rock and roll cheesecake making motherfuckers.

Please print this out and give it to your dear sweet mother. Give her a smooch on the kisser and tell her that you forgive her for burning your LPs and trying to get you put in a loony bin and tell her that you love her.
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trazadone



Joined: 28 Sep 2003
Posts: 4533
Location: lunch.

PostPosted: Sun Nov 28, 2004 9:20 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

i'm not being a wicked retard when i say this, but i make the BEST toast in the universe. there's a secret. and if you take me seriously, i will show you how.

no lie, it's wicked badass.
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The Big O



Joined: 24 Nov 2003
Posts: 1528

PostPosted: Tue Mar 01, 2005 12:45 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Fuck I should have posted my Bloody Mary recipe here, not on the DIY thread. Oh well, you guys can find it.


The Big O
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Evil Angel



Joined: 18 Sep 2003
Posts: 1430
Location: down by the river

PostPosted: Tue Mar 01, 2005 1:10 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Post it boy!! I'll have to post some of mine, tomorrow. I forgot about this thread.
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hermit



Joined: 22 Sep 2003
Posts: 4108
Location: Let's ride bykes!!11!!!!

PostPosted: Tue Mar 01, 2005 2:20 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

You mean we can put DRINK recipes in here?

Hairy Butt Juice:

more or less equal parts of:

JD
JC
and Myer's rum
toss them all of in a shaker with ice and pour out the delicacy for your victims, errr... friends/coworkers. Very Happy

These are best consumed with a Gin and Tonic or equivalent substitute chaser.

I heartily recommend it for anyone wanting to forget about brunch.
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dork chop



Joined: 04 Mar 2004
Posts: 132

PostPosted: Thu Mar 03, 2005 8:03 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

half stick margarine
handful of sugar
shred an apple
a big spoonful of cocoa
pinch of salt
five or six handfuls of rolled oats
handful of chopped nuts
some drops of vanilla

melt together margarine sugar, apple, cocoa, and salt, then add the oatmeal, nuts and vanilla. mix it all together like you're really pissed at the bowl. roll into alls and let cool in fridge. eat or throw at people that annoy you. easy for kids to make, yup!
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triplebaddoublecross



Joined: 01 Mar 2004
Posts: 323
Location: all over it

PostPosted: Wed Mar 09, 2005 2:03 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

1 part meth bender+
1 part booze+
1 part unemployment+
many guns+
anger=


recipe for mayhem
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The Big O



Joined: 24 Nov 2003
Posts: 1528

PostPosted: Wed Mar 16, 2005 3:54 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

http://amisharmada.com/booze.htm
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Slomgom_Commie



Joined: 23 Sep 2003
Posts: 7909
Location: Hiding in your house.

PostPosted: Fri Jun 10, 2005 3:27 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Some useful tips indeed!
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rocker654



Joined: 06 Nov 2003
Posts: 6061
Location: Memphis, TN

PostPosted: Mon Jun 13, 2005 11:37 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Those receipes are disgusting.
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The Jeff



Joined: 18 Feb 2005
Posts: 4694
Location: I am here. Because I am not all there.

PostPosted: Mon Jun 13, 2005 12:36 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Mom's Rhubarb Pie. This is good even if you don't like strawberry rhubarb. It is in season now.
4 cups rhubarb chopped one inch
1 1/2 cups sugar
4 tbsp flour
Pinch of salt
Put in a glass 9 inch dish with store bought Pillsbury crust in the dairy section. Or make a crust and hope. Put on your top crust. Poke your holes how you like and put some sugar and cinnamon on top.
Bake at 425 for ten minutes and then drop the temp to 325 and bake till it looks golden brown.
Zom how about that Pate maaaaannnnn.
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Slomgom_Commie



Joined: 23 Sep 2003
Posts: 7909
Location: Hiding in your house.

PostPosted: Fri Jul 08, 2005 2:17 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

1 part booze
1 part booze
1 part booze

mix it up and serve or gulp.
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rocker654



Joined: 06 Nov 2003
Posts: 6061
Location: Memphis, TN

PostPosted: Tue Jul 12, 2005 9:56 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

That's a recipe for disaster and/or good stories.
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Ollie Stench



Joined: 22 Sep 2003
Posts: 13697
Location: Hong Kong Noodles

PostPosted: Tue Jul 12, 2005 10:45 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I made some salsa last night:

2 tomatos
1 large onion
3 jalepenos
1 green pepper
1/2 garlic buld (about 7 cloves)
cilantro
salt
pepper

For some reason it's really bland. I can't even taste the jalepenos or the garlic. What did I miss?
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