Are Yew Ready For Some Football?
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vishnu666



Joined: 21 Nov 2008
Posts: 1240
Location: somewhere someplace driving yer drunk ass around

PostPosted: Mon Aug 24, 2009 12:15 am    Post subject: Are Yew Ready For Some Football? Reply with quote

I'm crazy, a grown man rolling in skin-tight white Spandex, gonna rip the quarterback's head off: Dude's drilling my ex!
Some times in the huddle I think strange thoughts: war casulties, baseball and beer.
After the game, the liquor store gives us kegs. I invite everybody to my dorm. The bathroom gets crowded. We piss off the balcony. It's 12 floors up, a fine mist for the folks downstairs.
Coach Bob is God. Coach Bob invited the entire team to his ranch for dinner, booze and hookers. He wrote it off on his income tax.
Coach Bob has a weird space between his teeth. He got hit in the teeth with a MacPherson strut in High School Auto Class.
Me and the guys do fucked-up shit when we're drunk. We panty raided the girl's dorm. One chick screamed so loud I stuffed her down the laundry chute, seven floors down to the Laundry room. They didn't find her body until a week later, BUT YOU KNOW WOMEN AND THEIR CLOTHES! Coach Bob hushed it up. He played football with the Chief of Police.
Coach Bob like's my future: in the NFL I'll make TALL money! My future wives and children wearing the finest clothes, GUCCI GUCCI GOO!
My girlfriend broke up with me. I wasn't romantic and I tried to break her in half. That shit went in one ear and out the other.
I got Michael Jackson's moves, Hulk Hogan's body and Albert Einstein's brains wrapped up in one 412 pound package.
The night before the the game, I hit the SA for a box of Gummi-Bears, Ding Dongs, Slim Jims and a keg.
It's game time. I'm hungover, pre-diabetic and still drunk. On the first play I roll in clean and rip the quarterback's head off. No flags. I pick up his head, pimp-roll to the stands and present it to my ex. I was trying to apologize: I HAD TO HEADS OVERS TO APOLOGIZE AFTER TRYIN' TO BREAK YOU IN HALF! SORRY 'BOUT YER BOYFRIEND!
My ex slams her tongue down my throat: IT AIN'T NOTHING BUT A THANG! I'M PREGNANT!


Last edited by vishnu666 on Fri Oct 02, 2009 11:02 pm; edited 1 time in total
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God Damn Don Powers



Joined: 22 Jul 2005
Posts: 597
Location: On the road.

PostPosted: Fri Aug 28, 2009 3:36 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

These guys are. . .

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Slomgom_Commie



Joined: 23 Sep 2003
Posts: 7909
Location: Hiding in your house.

PostPosted: Fri Aug 28, 2009 6:30 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I think Hawkey's shirt says "High On Fellatio".
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God Damn Don Powers



Joined: 22 Jul 2005
Posts: 597
Location: On the road.

PostPosted: Fri Aug 28, 2009 6:51 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Slomgom_Commie wrote:
I think Hawkey's shirt says "High On Fellatio".


Laughing
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vishnu666



Joined: 21 Nov 2008
Posts: 1240
Location: somewhere someplace driving yer drunk ass around

PostPosted: Fri Aug 28, 2009 7:08 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

God Damn Don Powers wrote:
Slomgom_Commie wrote:
I think Hawkey's shirt says "High On Fellatio".


Laughing


And the initials on his hat stand for "Mister Vagina." And the dude in the orange shirt is auditioning to be a really large freeway cone.
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Slomgom_Commie



Joined: 23 Sep 2003
Posts: 7909
Location: Hiding in your house.

PostPosted: Fri Aug 28, 2009 7:58 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Dude in orange shirt is ready for halloween by dressing up as a pumpkin.
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vishnu666



Joined: 21 Nov 2008
Posts: 1240
Location: somewhere someplace driving yer drunk ass around

PostPosted: Fri Oct 02, 2009 11:01 pm    Post subject: Monday Night Football Reply with quote

I don't know what the score will be, but its gonna be interesting.
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TLH



Joined: 10 Sep 2004
Posts: 5486
Location: Way West of the river.

PostPosted: Sat Oct 03, 2009 11:56 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

you. are. stupid. and. boring.
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trailerdiva



Joined: 21 Sep 2003
Posts: 7675
Location: Alternate Reality

PostPosted: Sun Oct 04, 2009 2:35 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

nice to see you TLH Very Happy
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2fisted



Joined: 22 Sep 2003
Posts: 7724
Location: xE

PostPosted: Sun Oct 04, 2009 8:29 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

It will be a damned good time! FARVRE is GOD!!!
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vishnu666



Joined: 21 Nov 2008
Posts: 1240
Location: somewhere someplace driving yer drunk ass around

PostPosted: Sun Oct 04, 2009 5:11 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

TLH wrote:
you. are. stupid. and. boring.


And you are from Wisconsin
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Vrooman



Joined: 28 Sep 2003
Posts: 6487
Location: Miniapples, Minisoda

PostPosted: Mon Oct 05, 2009 6:14 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Build the vikes a new stadium now before they lose to the packers! Go LA!
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2fisted



Joined: 22 Sep 2003
Posts: 7724
Location: xE

PostPosted: Mon Oct 05, 2009 7:27 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Fuck that! Raze the roof!!!!
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God Damn Don Powers



Joined: 22 Jul 2005
Posts: 597
Location: On the road.

PostPosted: Thu Oct 08, 2009 3:08 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

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vishnu666



Joined: 21 Nov 2008
Posts: 1240
Location: somewhere someplace driving yer drunk ass around

PostPosted: Sun Nov 22, 2009 10:30 pm    Post subject: Vikes Fixing to Move to LA? Reply with quote

Ziggy is shocked and appalled at the proposed 2 year Metrodome extension: no rent, all the parking and concession revenues. These greedy fuckers want us to pay for a new stadium or the Vikes are moving to LA. SEE YA!
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