posted 12-18-2001 09:05 AM            

Mr. Hankey the Christmas Poo
Small and brown he comes from you
Sit on the toilet here he comes
Squeeze him 'tween your festive buns
A present from down below
Spreading joy with a "Howdy-Ho!"
He's seen the love inside of you
`Cause he's a piece of poo

Sometimes he's nutty
Sometimes he's corny
He can be brown or greenish brown
(Mmmmhmmm!)
But if you eat fiber on Christmas eve
He might come to your town!

Mr. Hankey the Christmas Poo
He loves me, I love you
Therefore, vicariously he loves you!
I can make a Mr. Hankey too! (Pffffft)

Cartman: Well Kyle where is he?
Kyle: Ehh .. He's coming!
Stan: Come on dude, push!
Kyle: Ehhhh... I'm Trying!
Cartman: Wait, wait I can see his head!
Kyle: Here he comes!
[POP!]
Mr. Hankey: Howdy Ho!

I'm Mr. Hankey the Christmas Poo
Seasons Greetings to all of you!
Let's sing songs and dance and play
Now before I melt away.
Here's a game I like to play
Stick me in your mouth and try to say
Howdy ho ho yum yum yum
Christmas Time has come!

Singers: Sometimes He's runny
Sometimes he's firm
Sometimes he practically water.
Sometimes he hangs off the end of your ass
And wont fall in the toilet
'Cause he's just clinging to your sphincter
And he wont drop off .. and so you shake your ass around
And try to get it to drop in the toilet and finally it does.

Mr. Hankey the Christmas Poo
When Christmas leaves he must leave too.
Flush him down but he's never gone
His smell and his spirit linger on.

Howdy Ho!

posted 12-20-2001 07:27 PM            

Satan: Well I tell you what,
Maybe we'll have ourselves a little Christmas, right here.
C'mon everyone, gather `round!

String up the lights and light up the tree
We're going to make some revelry
Spirits are high, so I can tell
It's Christmas time in hell!

Demons are nicer as you pass them by
There's lots of demon toys to buy
The snow is falling and all is well
It's Christmas time in hell!

There goes Jeffery Dahmer,
With a festive Christmas ham
After he has sex with it,
He'll eat up all he can.

And there goes John F. Kennedy
Caroling with his son
Reunited for the holidays
God bless us, everyone!

Everybody has a happy glow
Let's dance in blood and pretend its snow
Even Mao Tse-Tung is under the spell
It's Christmas time in hell!

Adolf, here's a present for you.

Hitler: Oh? O Tannenbaum!

Satan: Yes, O Tannenbaum!

God cast me down from Heaven's door
To rule in hell for evermore
But now I'm kinda glad that I fell
'Cause It's Christmas time in hell!

Here's a rack to hang the stockings on
We still have to shop for Genghis Kahn!
Michael Landon's hair looks swell!
It's Christmas time in hell!

There's Princess Diana
Holding burning mistletoe
Over poor Gene Siskel's head
Just watch his weenie grow!

For one day we all stop burning
And the flames are not so thick
All the screaming and the torture stops
As we wait for old Saint Nick!

So string up the lights and light up the tree
We're damned for all eternity
But for just one day all is well
It's Christmas time in hell!

We've got to toast together, and make it quick!
We've gotta make room for Andy Dick.
Wake his mother and ring the bell

It's Christmas time...

(Christmas time... Christmas time... Christmas time...)

Christmas time...

(Christmas time... Christmas time... Christmas time...)

It's Christmas time in hell!