posted 11-17-2002 10:14 PM            

Then I took Traz to Wallmart and we were going to purchase a Foosball (sp?) table for the family but they were out of stock. So instead I purchased a huge block of Irish Spring, shampoo, hairspray, a whitening system for my teeth, and a very nicely craftet chrome and gold Menora. Traz stole some Polaroid film. Then we went to Old Country Buffett. A really cute 15 year old girl was smiling at me. She must have just come from church with her family and was wearing a really cute Hot Topic outfit. She looked like the girl in Coal Chamber and I told her to call me in 4 years.

Then we went to Hot Comics and bought two Grendel issues after milling around for about an hour and listening to fat dorks with beards discuss Transformer reissues. Apparently Megatron is still die-cast. I'm so excited I can hardly wait.

When I got home I proudly displayed my new Menora and laid my swastika armband underneath it. It's a statement, like the yin-yang. I don't want anyone to think I'm a jew or nothin. Then Traz poked an ingrown hair out of my cheek while she cleaned her bedroom. I attempted to use my new teeth whitening system, since I decided that mine have tarnished with smoke and whiskey and could stand a bit of a clean up. That shit hurts so bad! I got some of the gel on my exposed roots and it pained me for several hours. Then she dyed all our hair with Kla's hair dye and Robin came over with beer and bought a mash potatoe pizza. Gabe tried to make her rake leaves but she refused. I am significantly more important.

When Malcolm in the middle was over Gabe and Karen showed up and we played GTA3:VC. traz's sister called, then Casey from End Transmission but he didn't come visit cause he had band practice. So Kla and traz went to CC to play pool. I didn't because I am banned from CC for life for fighting.

Then I started this journal, which I will update daily. I will also keep this daily list of things I need help with so you can get involved in "A day in the life".

1. Anyone work at Marshall's? I want one of those globes but don't want to pay full price.
2. Someone needs to fix our washing machine.
3. Need a winter beater car.
4. My hair is pathetic. Need stylist.
5. Need comic shop hook up, can't steal anymore and therefore cannot afford addiction.
6. I got pills for sale.

posted 11-18-2002 09:19 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Dedly Daego:
<snip> When I got home I proudly displayed my new Menora and laid my swastika armband underneath it. It's a statement, like the yin-yang. I don't want anyone to think I'm a jew or nothin. <snip>
[This message has been edited by Dedly Daego (edited 11-18-2002).]

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posted 11-18-2002 01:12 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Dedly Daego:
Today ...
[This message has been edited by Dedly Daego (edited 11-18-2002).]

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posted 11-18-2002 01:24 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by owen:
A friend of mine had the funniest sleeping bag when we were growing up. It had all these patchwork notes that said things like "Sometimes I get angry, sometimes I get afraid."

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posted 11-18-2002 02:08 PM         

Remember the Rob Reiner roast? That's the one where Triumph the Insult Comic Dog came on and told him, "Rob Reiner, even David Crosby says you've let yourself GO!"?

That was funny as shit.

posted 11-18-2002 03:06 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by m o n k:
Today we're trying to figure out who The Artful Dodger is!

Question: Has the Artful Dodger ever owned a sleeping bag and if so, do you still have it?

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posted 11-18-2002 03:18 PM         

So, does he have to save the family fortune of his uncle or his maternal great-grandmother this time? Hmmmmmm.

posted 11-18-2002 03:20 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by zomzom:
Geez, I cannot wait to see that new Adam Sandler cartoon/movie.
It looks fucking genius.
He said sarcastically.

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Ugh.. there is just something about that guy that makes me want to slap him with a tennis shoe.

posted 11-18-2002 03:22 PM         

quote:

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Originally posted by quagmire:
Sleeping bag farts are the worst, espcially if they're trapped all night...unzip in the morning and...WHHEEWWW!

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LOL
And you're marinating in that aaaall night.
*blech*

posted 11-18-2002 03:29 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by monty carlos:
CRAZY Nights!!

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(Whoow! Here's a little song for everybody out there)
People try to take my soul away, but I don't hear the rap that they all say
They try to tell us we don't belong, that's alright, we're millions strong
This is my music, it makes me proud, these are my people and this is my crowd
Chorus:
These are crazy, crazy, crazy, crazy nights
These are crazy, crazy, crazy, crazy nights
Sometimes days are so hard to survive, a million ways to bury you alive
The sun goes down like a bad bad dream
You're wound up tight, gotta let off steam
They say they can break you again and again, if life is a radio, turn up to ten
chorus repeats 2x
And they try to tell us that we don't belong
But that's alright, we're millions strong
You are my people, you are my crowd, this is our music, we love it loud
Yeah, and nobody's gonna change me, 'cos that's who I am
chorus repeats out

posted 11-18-2002 03:33 PM            

Put on your yarmulke
Here comes Chanukah
So much funukah
To celebrate Chanukah
Chanukah is the festival of lights
Instead of one day of presents, we have eight crazy nights

When you feel like the only kid in town without a Christmas tree
Here's a list of people who are Jewish just like you and me
David Lee Roth lights the menorah
So do James Caan, Kirk Douglas, and the late Dinah Shore-ah

Guess who eats together at the Carnegie Deli
Bowser from Sha Na Na and Arthur Fonzerelli
Paul Newman's half Jewish, Goldie Hawn's half too
Put them together, what a fine lookin' Jew

You don't need "Deck The Halls" or "Jingle Bell Rock"
'Cause you can spin a dreidel with Captain Kirk and Mr. Spock- both Jewish

Put on your yarmulke
It's time for Chanukah
The owner of the Seattle Supersonicahs
Celebrates Chanukah

O.J. Simpson & Dedly Daego not Jews
But guess who is? Hall of famer Rod Carew- he converted
We got Ann Landers and her sister Dear Abby
Harrison Ford's a quarter Jewish- not too shabby

Some people think that Ebenezer Scrooge is
Well he's not, but guess who is
All three Stooges
So many Jews are in showbiz
Tom Cruise isn't, but I heard his agent is

Tell your friend Veronica
It's time to celebrate Chanukah
I hope I get a harmonicah
Oh this lovely, lovely Chanukah
So drink your gin and tonicah
And smoke your marijuanikah
If you really, really wannakah
Have a happy, happy, happy, happy Chanukah
Happy Chanukah

posted 11-18-2002 03:36 PM            

Put on your yarmulke
Its time for Chanukah
So much funnaka
To celebrate Chanukah

Chanukah is the festival of lights
Instead of one day of presents
We get eight crazy nights

When you feel like the only kid in town
Without a Christmas tree
Here's a new list of people who are Jewish
Just like you and me

Winona Ryder,
Drinks Manischewitz wine
Then spins a draydle with Ralph Lauren and Calvin Klein

Guess who gives and receives
Loads of Chanukah toys
The girls from Veruca Salt and all three Beastie Boys

Lenny Kravitz is half Jewish,
Courtney Love is half too
Put them together
What a funky bad ass Jew

We got Harvey Keitel
And flash dancer Jennifer Beals
Yasmine Bleeth from Baywatch is Jewish
And yes her boobs are real

Put on your yarmulka
Its time for Chanukah
2 time Ocsar winning Dustin Hoffmanaka
celebrates Chanukah

O.J. Simpson and Daego
Still Jews
But guess who is,
The guy who does the voice for Scooby Doo

Bob Dylan was born a Jew
Then he wasn't
but now he's back,
Mary Tyler Moore's husband is Jewish
'Cause we're pretty good in the sack.

Guess who got bar-mitzvahed
On the PGA tour
No I'm not talking about Tiger Woods
I'm talkin' about Mr. Happy Gilmore.

So many Jews are in the show biz
Bruce Springsteen isn't
But my mother thinks he is.

posted 11-18-2002 04:15 PM         

quote:

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Originally posted by Sea-Lice:
"But guess who is,
The guy who does the voice for Scooby Doo

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And also:

Alexander Cabot III

and Robin

and Groovey

and Cliffjumper

posted 11-18-2002 04:26 PM         

Oh, great.

posted 11-18-2002 06:38 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by quagmire:
Bow-wow-wow-yippee-yi-yippee-yo...

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posted 11-18-2002 07:20 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Sloan Royal:
Why does this sudden burst of odd posts from certain people seem to smell of ... *sniff sniff* ... a Backstage Conspiracy?

Oh, great.

And I just saw a black helicopter hovering near my house, too.

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posted 11-18-2002 07:22 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by owen:

IHAVEABSOLUTELYNOIDEAWHATYOUARETALKINGABOUT!!!

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posted 11-18-2002 09:41 PM            

My theory about my coat is proving itself true. I have a very distinct "jersey mobster" looking coat that I was criticized for wearing when I stole it from Ragstock, but others have followed suit. I knew this would happen.

From the bus I called Kla to tell him about the Viking exhibit at the Science Museum and to see if there was anything to do tonight. There wasn't. I suggested the all you can consume beer and wings at the brewery, but he declined due to it’s cost. So I came home and checked my email, laughed that there were 27 posts to my thread, none of which were remotely interesting. Par for course. I agree that it stinks of a back stage conspiracy, but I will prevail.

Kla and Traz were watching "The Dangerous Lives of Altar Boys" which to my dismay had been started prior to my arrival, since neither of them have any regards for the fact that I may want to be included in their plans to overtake the multimedia center for several hours. I was hungry so I called the Max Action household but he was with Jay the twin playing GTA3:VC, but Robin was home, so we decided to go to dinner at Kin Doh and I ordered the sweet and sour shrimp. I felt utterly defeated when I discovered that the shrimp were fried and this fact ruined everything. Robin and I got the same fortune in our cookie about tomorrow being a golden day.

All day long I have been haunted by remnants of this awful song called "Lifestyles of the rich and famous" trailing through my tormented mind. It is by this god awful band called Good Charlotte who I was unfortunate enough to catch a video by on Mtv2. I know I shouldn't be bothered by such frivolous matters any longer being I should be used to this punk marketing garbage, but I just hate it so much! These guys really get on my nerves. I would like to strangle them, especially the one who seems to think he is a punk rawker. If any of them get to read this I reccommend that you live a long time so none of you will become a legend and better help the world forget that your bastard selves ever existed. Get fat quick. Right now I am looking at the old OTM banner displayed proudly behind my desk and considering selling it on ebay.

I recently learned the whereabouts of my former friend and guitarist who was taken from us by evil banshees and heroin. He stole my amplifier and about $900 from Me High so we, Me High and I, discussed plans to "negotiate the release of my amp" and attempt to procure some of his losses from the worthless piece of human waste over the phone and made a tentative appointment. Then I did my teeth whitener again and it hurt.

When I got back Kla was videotaping nothing in particular and Traz called Robin "Tits & Crossbones". Then Kla laid now a line of tape to divide their bedroom and I noticed that it was my very expensive tape for masking stuff while painting motorcycle flames. He did not apologize and I will hate him forever. Then he invaded Traz's space by crossing the divider and is generally a disrespectful little puke. Then Robin took his picture and Traz said "Kla is a dick" and demanded that her stop whipping her carpet with the bull whip.

Now I am going to view the previously mentioned film and lift weights for about an hour while they continue to argue over who is now in control of the room's single light switch. So far i's Traz, but Kla is ruler of the stereo so a truce will inevitably be reached. They are listening tot he Sugar Hill Gang now and are embarassing me.

Afterthoughts:

1. The menora came first, not the swastika, that is why the armband is the accompanying piece. This disqualifies the communist theory. "Came first" meaning I planned on displaying it either way and thought the swastika addition clever and annoying to company, because I hate company.