posted 12-17-2002 08:23 AM            

46. TREY ANASTASIO

Misdeeds: The pied piper of Vermont, Anastasio and his Phish bandmates have brainwashed white kids into believing that not showering, eating mushrooms, and listening to a jam band play cover songs is the path to enlightenment. When he stopped touring with Phish, their fans had no choice but to follow fifth and sixth-rate jam bands, giving rise to the beyond-awful Widespread Panic, String Cheese Incident, or any other whimsically named group of slapdicks that think adding bongo drums and a mandolin makes for good music. Anastasio's one redeeming factor is that at least one kid has probably died by choking on a glow stick at one of his concerts.

Aggravating Factor: Doesn't even encourage kids to do drugs. Kept Relics magazine going after Jerry Garcia's death.

posted 12-17-2002 10:37 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Besty:
Is that similar to when guys pee sitting down? They got the shooter, they should use it. I just don't have the skills for that handiwork as a female.

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posted 12-17-2002 11:55 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Besty:
Owen, Owen, Owen. What can I say? I have three younger brothers with no aim. I don't sit on the toilet seat. I hover. TMI, right? In all of my houses I've designed at school they all have urinals. I think urinals should become a home product. The latest trend in homes is to spend tons of money on the kitchen and, more recently, the bathroom. When questioned as to why include a toilet and urinal, I stated that it would obliterate the question of whether the toilet seat should be left up or down. The urinal has the power to possibly save marriages and people from falling into toilet water.

[This message has been edited by Besty (edited 12-17-2002).]

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posted 12-17-2002 05:20 PM            

quote:

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49. LYNNE CHENEY

Misdeeds: Most wives of elite politicians take up charitable causes. Dick Cheney's wife teamed up with Joe Lieberman to form a group called the American Council of Trustees and Alumni, which drew up a blacklist of academics whose patriotism was judged to have "fallen short" in the wake of 9/11. Among the targets: the president of Wesleyan University, who said that "disparities and injustices" in American society can provoke violence, and a University of Oregon professor emeritus who said that "we need to understand the reasons behind the terrifying hatred directed against the U.S. and find ways to act that will not foment more hatred for generations to come."

Aggravating Factor: Wrote a novel called Sisters that contained lesbian themes in 1981; currently freaks out every time her openly gay daughter is mentioned by journalists.

Aesthetic: Bea Arthur's nasty mother on The Golden Girls.

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posted 12-17-2002 05:25 PM            

quote:

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Is that similar to when guys pee sitting down? They got the shooter, they should use it. I just don't have the skills for that handiwork as a female

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posted 12-18-2002 12:00 AM            

12. EMINEM

Misdeeds: Expecting people to care about his shitty childhood because he is white. Dissing his mama. Lifting weights after he got famous. Is the official voice of white teenage suburban boys. Has already worn out his shock value to the extent that his next album will have to include slurs against parapalegics and land-mine victims just to raise eyebrows.

Aggravating Factor: For someone who sells millions of records partly due to making fun of other people, has no sense of humor about himself.

Aesthetic: Trailer-trash cracker with just a hint of Down's Syndrome.

posted 12-18-2002 12:37 AM            

Aesthetic:ΚΚ The extreme evolution of the southern cop who breaks your taillight.

posted 12-18-2002 01:14 AM            

Here is a website for your entertainment. http://www.americanpolitics.com/20020205Coulter.html

I especially liked this little gem:
Phil Donahue: "I just want to make sure we got this right. Liberals hate America. They hate all religions except Islam. Liberals love Islam, hate all other religions."
Ann Coulter: "Post 9/11."
Donahue: "Well, good for you."
--Donahue, MSNBC, July 19, 2002

posted 12-18-2002 01:51 AM            

16. ARI FLEISCHER

Misdeeds: Wherever he ends up placed on this list will not be high enough. This motherfucker carries G.W. Bush's demon seed in his anal womb, gestates a fresh offspring a couple times a day and produces a few Rosemary's steamers at press conferences with all the non-chalance of a Spot Coffee latte jerk. Fleischer is the very bold assertion, by the powers that be, that Americans and their media representatives are too whip-shy to just say, "Wait a fucking minute. You're telling a goddamned lie, Fleischie." He is a brazen challenge from the tri-laterals and Bildenbergs, etc., that they know that we, as the TV umbilical-cable-dependent, won't do anything to jeopardize our little no-compulsory-military-service, double-mocha-under-a-self-contained, climate-controlled indoor-suburban-shopping-theme-park-with-a-Botox-safety-net dream.

Aggravating Factor: He is less life-like than every other who has stood in his rank. Within weeks, there promises to be empirical evidence that Fleischer was produced by the same laboratory that gave us Nixon tron John Dean.

Aesthetic: C3PO melded with Carson Daly operating off a modified Charles Grodin chip.

or

5. MARY KATE AND ASHLEY OLSEN

Aesthetic: One half Britney Spears, one half Andres Serrano's Piss Christ